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True Stories
How many times has someone sent you some material that is true? I find often that true stories can be funnier than those we make up.
We currently have 154 sets of funny and true stories. A description of each true story is provided after the link.
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- Scrotum Self Repair - A true
story about a man's self-gratification that caused him to lose more than just his pride.
- Oh Rats! - A true story about a
man's hunt for his son's lost rat that ended up with a stay in the severe burns unit of
San Francisco City Hospital.
- Cleaner Polishes Off Patients - A
true story about the mysterious deaths of patients in a hospital in England.
- True Stories From The Emergency Room
- Twelve actual stories from Emergency Rooms to prove that fact is funnier than fiction.
- A Bad Day At Work - This is a
bricklayer's actual accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English
equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.
- A Darwin Award - You'll recall a
Darwin award from not too long ago where a guy decided to strap a cargo plane rocket
booster to his car to see how fast it would go, and ended up hitting a cliff several
hundred feet in the air. Here's one more. This story is about a man who has actually
turned his dreams into reality. His story is true, as hard as you may find it to believe
...
- 1998 Darwin Award - The true high
point of the e-mail year has arrived. Yes it is the 1998 Darwin Awards. For those
sheltered few of you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Awards. These awards are given
annually (and posthumously) to those individuals who did the most for the human gene pool
by removing themselves from it. In addition, we have included the 7 runner-ups in this
year's prestigious award.
- 1999 Darwin Award - Here they
are. The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards have been released!
You may have seen some of them as nominees and will be pleased to learn that they made it
into the finals.
These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who
through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements
from the human gene pool. In addition, we have included the 5 runner-ups in this year's
prestigious award. Ladies And Gents...
- Flaming Projectile Gerbil - Have
you ever heard of that old Gerbil-Up-The-Rectum joke? Well, here's one you will not soon
forget!
- Answering Machine Outgoing Messages
- These are actual answering machine outgoing messages recorded and verified by the world
famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers.
- Actual Bumper Stickers - These
are actual bumper stickers found on cars. There are a total of 22 of them.
- Idiot Awards - Every state has
their idots. Here are tales about idots in six states: Michigan, Kentucky, Louisiana,
Arkansas, New York, and Washington.
- The Irate Customer - For all of
you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one's for you. It's a
classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we all love!
- Employment Statistics - Here are
some statistics about employment that will surely motivate you to work!
- Actual Signs As Seen In London England
- A number of amusing signs found in various places throughout London, England. I would
suspect you would find these type of signs all over the world.
- Things Aren't What They Always Seem
- An amusing true story about a women in an elevator who mistakes two well known
celebrities for crooks.
- Actual Fast Food Job Application
- Here's an actual job application that will really ensure that you will get the job!
- Real Stories - Here are about 14
short true stories that happened overseas that will surely make you laugh.
- First Flight To Frankfurt - A
funny but true story about a conversation between a British Airways pilot and a Frankfurt
traffic controller.
- Actual School Exam Answers -
These are actual test answers from various schools and they are funny!!
- Word Perfect Helpline - This is
a funny, but true, story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department.
- World War II Facts - Here is
some funny, but factual, trivia about World War II.
- An Embarassing Password - Here
is a funny, but true, story about a guy who puts in the word "penis" when asked
to enter in his computer password.
- Brilliant Quotes of Management -
Humorous submissions by people about their real life managers.
- Bonehead Awards - These are
awards given to individuals who show the upmost stupidity. These are like the Darwin
Awards but no one has to die to get one.
- Where Did That Phrase Come From?
- Read about the real (and amusing) history behind certain common words and phrases.
- Landlords - Click here for funny
excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords.
- Chinese/American Dogfight -
Click here to read an actual story published in the Taiwan Daily Gazette about the
Chinese/ American mid air collision
- Medical Benefits of Breast Watching
- Here is a humorous but true study about the health benefits for men of breast watching.
- Sex Laws - Here are some funny,
but true, sex laws from countries around the world.
- Stupid People - Here is a series
of humorous, and true, stories about stupid people.
- Idiots Caught - A series of
humorous real stories about idiots caught at their own game.
- Our Government At Work - Read an
actual letter sent to the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality and the humorous
response they got back.
- God Bless Texas - Read actual
statistics about the great state of Texas and the presidential election.
- How Smart Are You? - Take a real
test and see how many answers you get right.
- Traffic School Q&A - Read a
sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of
Transportation's driving school.
- How Hot Is It In Hell - Read an
amusing and actual, paper written about the question:Â Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?Â
- Actual Caddy Quotes - Read
actual quotes made by caddies to their golfers.
- The New Stews - Read a
supposively true, but humorous, preflight announcement made by a stewardess.
- People Under Oath - Read about
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court
reporters.
- Amazing True Facts - More
amazing and true facts to ponder.
- Only In America - Read a true
story about an immoral politician that pardons another immoral politician who is hired by
a religious coalition run by an immoral reverend...And you'll never guess was his new job
is!
- The Best Comeback Ever - Read a
replication of the National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and
U.S. Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a boy scout troop visiting his
military installation.
- Unbelievable...How Can This Stuff Happen In
America? - Read stories about events that should never had happended here in
America.
- Famous Statements- Read actual
statements made by important people.
- Computer Credit Card Processing Fiasco-
Click here to see what can happen when you don't pay your credit card bill regardless of
the amount you owe.
- Infamous Statements About Marriage-
Read humorous sayings about marriage made by famous people.
- Infamous Views on Sex- Read how
some of your favorite celebrities say about sex.
- Signs Found Around The World-
Read some humorous signs found around the world.
- Something is Fishy About that Lipstick-
Find out what really goes into making lipstick.
- Computer Complaints- Take heart,
anyone among you who believes you are technologically challenged, you "ain't seen
nuthin' yet." These are actual complaints made by computer owners.
- Great Marketing Screw-ups- Have
you ever wondered what some marketing slogans in English meant in other languages. Click
here to read some amusing ones!
- 2001 Darwin Awards- The awards
this year are classic. These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of)
that individual or individuals, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, have done the
most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
- Doing Business- An actual sign
found in the window of a Philadelphia business that may be discriminating until you look
at it closely.
- Teacher's Reports- Read actual comments made by
NYC teachers on their report cards as part of their final narratives.Â
- Little Known Facts- Read some little known
(humorous) facts about true events.Â
- Why 18 Holes of Golf?- Read how 18 holes of golf
came about
- More True Facts- Read more wierd but true
facts.
- Space Technology- A funny, but
true, story about the cost of space technology between the United States and Russia.
- 1st Divorce Resulting From Sept 11th Attack-
This was taken from an actual article in a New York paper about the first divorce directly
resulting from the Sept 11th attack on the World Trade Centre.
- Just When You Thought You Knew Everything-
More funny, but true trivia.
- Horoscope Test- Read about a
horoscope test that If you are honest it will tell the truth.Â
- True Facts- Here are some facts
you may not have been aware of. After reading them, you will probably wish you hadn't.
Â
- Feeling Smart- Here are some
humorous, but true, quotes from some very famous people. Â
- More True Stories- A collection
of six short, but true, stories. Â
- A Day in the Life- These are
funny but actual events that occurred to my friend Peter all in one day. Â
- Actual Political Views - On the
eve of our latest election we thought it appropriate to bring you actual, but funny,
political views from some famous people. Â
- Actual Newspaper Ad- Read an
actual advertisement that was found in the personal classified section of a newspaper.
Â
- Benefits of Sex- Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person
is sexually active or not. Click here to see how. Â
- Having a Bad Day- A funny, but
possibly true, stories about having a real bad day.
- 2002 Darwin Awards- Well here we
are again. The 2002 Darwin Awards are in and they are real wieners..Â
- Only In America- Only in America
can you find idiots like this.Â
- Pilots Vs Air Traffic Control-
Here are actual conversations between airline pilots and control towers from around the
world.
- Idiots- Here is a collection of
true stories about eight idiots who deserved what they got.
- Dinner Math- Read about a dinner
math calculation that is pretty darn accurate.Â
- Actual Medical Records- Read
actual entries in patients medical records made by doctors and nurses.Â
- Worker Found Dead at Desk- Read
an actual story written in the New York Times about a man found dead at his desk five days
later.Â
- Patients Medical Records- More
actual entries in patients medical records made by doctors and nurses.Â
- High School Essays- These are
actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.Â
- Hollywood Squares Responses-
These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares"
game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are
now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. The younger readers
among you won't know who some of these people are. So go ask your parents.
- Dear Abby Letters- These are
actual letters that Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) admitted she was at a total loss to
answer.
- Comments on Hillary Clinton's New Book-
These are actual comments made by some famous people about Hillary Clinton's new book.
- Water or Coke?- Do you want to
know which is better for you, water or coke? Click here to find the answer.
- Mid Life- Have you thought or
are you currently or have experienced mid life? Well, here is one humorous take on it.
- The Truths About Life- Learn the
truths about life that both children and adults have learned and the truths about success
as we get older.
- How Kid's Think- Here are actual
answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and
6th grade ages in Ohio.
- Aircraft Humor- Never let it be
said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged
aircraft maintenance complaints and responses.
- Employee Performance Evaluations-
Read actual, but humorous, statements that appear on employee performance evaulations.
- Who Kills More People, Guns or Doctors?-
Interesting facts on how many people accidently die as the result of gun misuse and
doctor's mistakes.
- No Party Affiliations Needed-
These are from a Washington, D.C. travel agent with 30 years experience working with our
congressmen and congresswomen. It will definitely give you pause to wonder how laws ever
get passed if you didn't already wonder!!
- Technologically
Challenged - Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is
technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin" yet. This is an excerpt from
a Wall Street Journal article.
- Signs
- A number of amusing signs found in various places around the world.
- 2003 Darwin
Awards - The 2003 Darwin Awards are out. These awards are given each year to
bestow upon (the remains of) that individual or individuals, who through single-minded
self-sacrifice, have done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene
pool. Â
- Horoscope
- A number of amusing signs found in various places around the world.
- Life is Tough.
But it's Tougher If You're Stupid - Six actual, but funny, stories about the
stupid Antics of people.
- Church Marquee
Signs - Here are actual signs seen on the Marquee of Churches.
- Colonoscopies
- Here are actual comments from doctor's patients made while he was performing
colonoscopies.
- Instructions
For Stupid People - Here are actual label instructions on consumer goods.
- As Smart As
You Are, I Bet You Didn't Know.. - More humorous facts to ponder.
- Think About
These Jewels Of Wisdom - True, but humorous, sayings about the government
made by some famous people.
- These Were The
Days - Click here to read true stories about airplanes and pilots.
- Problem
Solving Today - Read the difference between how problems are solved today and
how they were solved by the original inhabitants of this country, the Indians.
- One Hundred
Years Ago - Maybe this will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The
year is 1904 ... one hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are
some of the U.S. statistics for 1904.
- The Sex Fairy
- For those of you who thought sex was bad, read all the benefits that sex provides.
- Believe It Or
Not - Read some factual things that you can win a free drink with.
- Actual Hiker
Comments - Read actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration
sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips.
- Sanity Check
- Read an actual test given to serial killers and see if you pass.
- A Positive in
Compaining - Read a humorous story about how complaining can be worthwhile.
- Actual
Analogies and Metaphors - Read actual analogies and metaphors found in High
School essays.
- The Years Best
(Actual) Headlines of 2003 - Read actual newspaper headlines in 2003
publications.
- 2004 Darwin Awards - The awards
this year are classic. These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of)
that individual or individuals, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, have done the
most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
- Actual Letter Written to a Talk Show
- This was an actual letter that was aired on the Sept 23 show of Larry Elder about a man
that was politically driven to commit crimes.
- Random Acts of Lunacy - These
short stories are a spin off from the Darwin Awards.
- Airline Humor - All too rarely,
airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and
announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or
reported.
- Actual E-mail Addresses - Many
colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first
and last initial to either the beginning or end to make up an E-Mail address which often
can be funny.
- Giving the Finger - Read where
the act of "giving the finger" originated from.
- Lipstick in School - Priceless!!
- A funny story about how a school janitor stopped the female students from putting
lipstick on the bathroom mirrors.
- Mississippi School Absences -
Read some funny, but true, notes from parents as to why their kids were absent from
school.
- MasterCard Wedding - Read a
true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the
local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It is a wedding fit for a MasterCard
commercial.
- We've Always Done It This Way -
Read some interesting, and kind of humorous, facts about how the width of a railroad track
was determined.
- Alzheimers' Eye Test - A funny
test you can take to test your memory.
- Bad Averages - A humorous, but
true, set of statistics that you probably would rather not hear about.
- Stay Focused - More humorous
facts about people and animals.
- A Good Wife - This article was
actually found in the May 13th 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly entitled "A Good
Wife". In light of today's climate it does seem pretty funny.
- Another Darwin Award Candidate
- Another humorous story about a stupid criminal that deserved to get caught.
- First Grade Proverbs - Humorous
completions of well known proverbs by first graders.
- School Answering Machine - Read
an actual recording found on the answering machine at the Pacific
Palisades High School in California.
- The Doctor's Appointment -
There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong
in a room full of other patients. Read a humorous way in which one elderly man handled it
- 2005 Darwin Awards - Six awards
have been given so far this year and the year is only half over. These awards are given
each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual or individuals, who through
single-minded self-sacrifice, have done the most to remove undesirable elements from the
human gene pool.
- Actual Ad in New Your Times - A
funny story about a man who is selling his set of encyclopedias now that he is married.
- Things Learned From Children -
Click here to read about an anonymous mother in Austin, TXÂ who wrote about things
she learned from her children.
- Do Lawyers Ask Dumb Questions?
- These were lawyer's questions and witness's answers in actual court cases.
- Actual Quantas Airlines Maintenance
Complaints - Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas
pilots and the solutions recorded by the maintenance engineers.
- Educational Facts - Read some
facts that will surely make you chuckle.
- Actual Test Answers - Read
actual answer's on a Children's Science Examination.
- The British and The Irish -
Read a transcription of the actual radio conversation between the British and the Irish
off the coast of Kerry Ireland in October 1998.
- Duck Hunters - Read a true
story heard on a Wisconsin radio Station reporting an incident about two duck hunters.
- "Best Comeback' Line -
Read an actual conversation between a police officer and a lawyer during the police
officer's testimony in court.
- Duck Hunters - This is
supposively a true story about two duck hunters, one of which files an insurance claim
against his lost truck. Click here to see how he lost it.
- Your Age By Chocolate Math - An
amusing way to tell your age by simple eating chocolate.
- Lawyers - Lawyers should never
ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. Here is one such
case that supposively true.
- How To Call The Police - A
supposively true, but funny, story about how a man got the police to his house faster than
they wanted to.
- Stella Awards - It's time once
again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards
were named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on herself and
successfully sued McDonald's (in the state of New Mexico). That case inspired the Stella
Awards for the most frivolous and ridiculous, yet successful, lawsuits in the United
States.
- Wal-Mart Job Application - This
is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in
Arkansas.They hired him because he was so funny.....
- Credit Card Bills Don't Stop at Death
- Don't know if this is a true story but I can easily see this happening, customer service
being what it is today.
- Australian Aviation - These
actually appeared in the June 2000 issue of Australian Aviation Magazine.
- Car Jacked - Read a true
account about a car jacking as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida.
- Killer Biscuits Wanted For Attempted Murder-
This is an actual API headline about a woman who was stranded in her car because she
thought she got shot in the head.
- 2006 Darwin Awards - Ten awards
have been given this year. These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains
of) that individual or individuals, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, have done
the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
- Actual Flight Attendant Safety Lectures
- Read actual lectures given by flight attendants to passengers on aircraft safety.
- Actual Pilot and Control Tower Conversations
- Read actual exchanges between pilots and control towers.
- More Darwin Awards - These are
pretty self-explanatory.
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