|Ok, Folks. Texas has
given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the
results. After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route,
the folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters
into our own hands. Here is our solution:|
#1: Let Al Gore become President of the United States (all 49
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).
We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States
Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't
mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will
need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about
those northern states. Al Gore will figure a way to keep them
Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing
computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas
Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor,
Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball
Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel,
Etc,Etc. The list goes on and on.
Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer
research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the
world, and other large health planning centers.
We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT, Texas A&M, Rice,
SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University,
etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we
need some more.
We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard
and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since
everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we
can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation
really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety
and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.
We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and
vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them
so that they taste good. Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of
Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need
and don't have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Gore: Since
you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only
President Gore will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per
gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off
your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your
homes but since Mr. Gore has predicted global warming, you will
not need the gas.
Just a few notes on REAL election results:
Total Counties won by Bush: 2,434
Total Counties won by Gore: 677
Population of counties won by Bush: 143 million.
Population of counties won by Gore: 127 million
Square miles of country won by Bush: 2,427,000
Square miles of country won by Gore: 580,000
States won by Bush: 29
States won by Gore: 19
And an even more remarkable finding....
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 0.1
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore: 13.2
Researchers found one more interesting fact that might help
explain these disparate murder rates. Gun ownership in the
counties won by Mr. Bush is much higher than in the counties won
by Mr. Gore.
Signed, The People in Texas