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Yes, it's that magical
time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring
the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline & plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh
he'd ever had.
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, &
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.
A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse & ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, &
the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the
snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They
put him in the car & drove back to the store. The thief was then
taken out of the car & told to stand there for a positive ID. To
which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I
stole the purse from."
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, & run. So he lifted the cinderblock &
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back
& hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, & asked for change.When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun & asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone
points a gun at you & gives you money, is a crime committed?)
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
was hit.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop &
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable & prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
meat-cutting machine &, after a little shopping around,
submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting
negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He
tried the machine & he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
And the award goes to... 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to
fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach ,
California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only
inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel & tried the trigger
again. This time it worked.....
In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your
friends & family....unless of course one of these individuals by
chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be
glad they are distant & hope they remain lost. |
