This is purported to
be a true story from a disgruntled Southwest Airlines employee.
Supposedly on one
flight the stewardess made the usual preflight announcement with a
bit of humor.
"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your
seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It
works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to
operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen
masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the
mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child
traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.
If you are traveling with two small children, decide now, which
one you love more.
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken
clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank
you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than