The
following are purported to be actual comments made by NYC teachers
on their report cards as part of their final narratives. All
teachers were reprimanded, but these are great!
1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has
started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the
plastic thingy to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered
twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child
beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.
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