A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an
answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the
little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4
worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a church service on Sunday morning, a
young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a
minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide
that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
listen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the
Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we
forgive those who passed trash against us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A boy was watching his father, a pastor,
write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells
me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl became restless as the
preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother
in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father
asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw
pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed
four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph,
and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh,
that's Pontius-the Pilot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now,
Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little
Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A college drama group presented a play in
which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into
hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the
character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing
the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new
actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the
actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope
could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah!
Hell is full!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After
a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety
seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet,
Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over
again!' It worked."
