A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless
person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel
affirmed that it was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you
into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless
person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was
true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this
fellow?"
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him
back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."