God created Heaven and Earth. Quickly, He was faced with a class action
suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary
permit for the project, but was stymied with a cease and desist order for earthly part.
At the hearing, God was
asked why he began his earthly project. God replied that he just liked to be creative. God
said, "let there be light," and immediately the officials demanded to know how
the light would be made. God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire.
God was granted provisional
permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that
he would obtain a building permit, and to conserve energy, would have the light half the
time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and darkness
"Night."
Officials replied that they
were not interested in semantics. God said, "let the earth bring forth green herbs
and such, and many seeds." The EPA agreed so long as native seeds were used. Then God
said, "Let waters bring forth creature shaving life, and the fowl that fly over the
Earth." Officials required approval from the Department of Game, coordinated with the
Heavenly Wildlife Federation, and the Audobangelic Society. Then, God said he wanted to
complete the project in six days. Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review
the application and impact statement. After that, there would be a public hearing. Then,
there would be 10 to 12 months before he could begin. At this point, God created Hell. |
