Three men were standing in line to get into Heaven one day. Apparently, it
had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's
getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had
particularly horrible deaths. So, what's your story?"
So the first man replies,
"Well, for a while, I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came
home early and tried to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I
could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other
guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was
this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above the ground! By now, I was really mad, so
I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off.
So, finally, I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and started hammering on his
fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even
after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned, but OK. I couldn't stand it any more,
so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed
on him, killing him instantly. But all of the stress and anger go to me, and I had a heart
attack, and died right there on the balcony. "That sounds like a petty bad day to
me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and
Peter explains to him about Heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's
been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and
every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning, I must have slipped
or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the
balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly,
this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started
beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment
and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally, I just let go, but again,
I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was
thinking I was going to be OK, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes
me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded
like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the
front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that Heaven
was full, and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm
hiding naked inside a refrigerator..." |
