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Performance Reviews

What those words on yearly performance reviews REALLY mean.

1. Outgoing Personality - Always going out of the office.

2. Great Presentation Skills - Able to bullshit.

3. Good Communication Skills - Spends lots of time on phone.

4. Work is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date.

5. Active Socially - Drinks a lot, possibly a slut.

6. Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he/she does.

7. Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses.

8. Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision.

9. Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone else to do it.

10. Expresses Themselves Well - Speaks English.

11. Meticulous Attention to Detail - A nit picker.

12. Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has louder voice.

13. Exceptionally Good Judgement - Lucky.

14. Keen Sense of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes.

15. Career Minded - Back stabber.

16. Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else.

17. Plans for Promotion/Advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys.

18. Of Great Value to the Organization - Gets to work on time.

19. Relaxed Attitude - Sleeps at desk.    

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