SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having
Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" Yeah, you know: I get a little
each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every
time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what
the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me
up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a
  recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an
orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX:
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from
his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but
that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor
said the cost would be $3,500 for "small," $6,500 for "medium, $14,000
for"large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor
urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his
wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and
found the man looking ejected. "Well, what have the two of you! decided?" asked
the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX:
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies
My Wife - Cold As Ever'.""Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" | |
