Last Thursday, I put out one of my Bush-Cheney signs in my front
yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday
night, I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I
thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time
I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my back yard.
With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair
and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about
Here comes the fun part ... I noticed that the car coming down the
street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to
my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my
sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my
gate and let my dog make the initial introduction!
As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved
to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice
car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued
to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the
power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my
Bush sign and headed into the back yard.
And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes
later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our
city's finest ... the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked
me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop
I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked
the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a
couple of streets down, I – knowing what was about to happen –
asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you
live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?"
Larry, Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will
buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax ... it's a
crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part ... The
look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted.
When the officer asked for his license and registration, the
"Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended.
Just for kicks and giggles, I asked the officer if he smelled any
alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and
promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it
– he blew a .10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.
DUI, illegal registration and the brand of "MORON," all
'cause he hates Bush!