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Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green,
 My dog's name is Blue
 And I'm so lucky
 To have a sweet thang like you.

 Yore hair is like cornsilk
 A-flapping in the breeze.
 Softer than Blue's
 And without all them fleas.

 You move like the bass,
 Which excite me in May.
 You ain't got no scales
 But I luv you anyway.

 Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
 Jist a-fry'n in the pan.
 Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
 Right out of the can.

 You have some'a yore teeth,
 For which I am proud;
 I hold my head high
 When we're in a crowd.

 On special occasions,
 When you shave under yore arms,
 Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
 And awed by yore charms.

 Still them fellers at work,
 They all want to know,
 What I did to deserve
 Such a purdy, young doe.

 Like a good roll of duct tape
 Yo're there fer yore man,
 To patch up life's troubles
 And fix what you can.

 Yo're as cute as a junebug
  A-buzzin' overhead.
 You ain't mean like those far ants
 I found in my bed.

 Cut from the best cloth
 Like a plaid flannel shirt,
 You spark up my life
 More than a fresh load of dirt.

 When you hold me real tight
 Like a padded gunrack,
 My life is complete;
 Ain't nuttin' I lack.

 Yore complexion, it's perfection,
 Like the best vinyl sidin'.
 Despite all the years,
 Yore age, it keeps hidin'.

 Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
 With a RC cold drank,
 We go together
 Like a skunk goes with stank.

 Some men, they buy chocolate
 For Valentine's Day;
 They git it at Wal-Mart,
 It's romantic that way.

 Some men git roses
 On that special day
 From the cooler at Kroger.
 That's impressive," I say.

 Some men buy fine diamonds
 From a flea market booth.
 "Diamonds are forever,"
 They explain, suave and couth.

 But for this man, honey,
 These won't do.
 Cause yore too special,
 You sweet thang you.

 I got you a gift,
 Without taste nor odor,
 More useful than diamonds......

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