Coffee and frozen pizzas can
be made on a BBQ grill.
No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.
My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped
me push it).
Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.
He who has the biggest generator wins.
Women can actually survive without doing their hair -- you just wish they weren't around
you.
A new method of non-lethal torture -- cold showers
Dominion Virginia Power and VDOT are the same company -- not really, but their abilities
to plan are strikingly similar.
There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.
A 7 lb bag of ice will chill six 12-oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11
minutes, and still keep a 14 pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
There are a lot of damn trees around here.
Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.
Contrary to most Hampton Roads natives' beliefs, speed limits on roads without traffic
lights does not increase.
Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.
Just because you're 40 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you want. At least that's
what the Hampton cops said during a curfew stop.
Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.
People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line
is for.
When required, a Lincoln Continental will float; it doesn't steer well, but it floats just
the same.
Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains
charged.
27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to
point that out!
Hampers can only contain a certain amount of clothes
If I had a store that sold only ice, chain saws, gas and generators...I'd be rich.
Price of peanut butter and bread rises 200% in a storm
Your waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.
Tree service companies are under appreciated
I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.
MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill
?????
Drywall is a compound word, take away the 'dry" part and its worthless.
I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
7 mile stretch of "new" road by Coliseum doesn't drain properly...wait, I
learned that 2 months ago.
Water will indeed fill the Midtown tunnel if the floodgates aren't shut during a flood. I
was pretty sure that was true but it has now been proven.
The only good thing about not having telephones -- you haven't had a call from a
telemarketer lately, have you? |
