What Every Man Expects:
1. Always beautiful and
cheerful - Could have married movie star but wanted only you.
2. Hair that never needs
curlers or beauty shops.
3. Beauty that won't run in
a rainstorm.
4. Never sick - just
allergic to jewelry and fur coats.
5. Insists that moving the
furniture by herself is good for her figure.
6. Expert in cooking,
cleaning, fixing the car or TV, mixing drinks, painting the house and keeping quiet.
7. Favorite hobbies: Mowing
the lawn and shoveling the snow. Hates charge plates.
8. Her favorite expression
"What can I do for you, dear?"
9. Thinks you have
Einstein's brains but look like Mr. America.
10. Wishes you would go
play poker with the boys so she could get some sewing done. Loves you because you're
SO-O-O Sexy.
What He Gets:
1. She speaks 140 words a
minute with gusts up to 180.
2. She once was a model for
a totem pole.
3. A light eater - As soon
as it gets light she starts eating.
4. Where there's smoke,
there she is - cooking.
5. She lets you know you
only have two faults - everything you say and everything you do.
6. Her hair looks like an
explosion in a steel wool factory.
7. The last time she used a
broom was to fly somewhere.
8. If you get lost, open
your wallet - she'll find you.
9. She fights with the
neighbors just to keep in practice until you get home.
