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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and have experienced a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 has disabled other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4 and PGA 4.2. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but without success. What can I do?



Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package! , while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C :/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.

Caution: overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications like Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.5, or reinstall another Boyfriend program! These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.. They could also cause Husband 1.0 to default to Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and doesn't learn new applications quickly. You might consider installing additional software to enhance the system performance. I personally recommend SingleMaltScotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old stand-by Lingerie 6.9 (which should also improve performance of Husband 1.0's hardware).

Good luck! Tech Support

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