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1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for
an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
Explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me
with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida Package we did. I asked
what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!" (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the
map." (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I
asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport,
and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that
Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description
on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you
ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After
putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing). I came back and
explained the city code for Fresno, CA is FAT - Fresno Air Terminal, and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all
the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take
the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know
which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
"I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on
them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have
to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to
Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to
fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a
visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those." I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted
my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, "I want To go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are
you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?"
replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The
lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean
Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
