Many years from now, former President Clinton goes
to the pearly gates of Heaven. "You can't get in," says St. Peter. "You
cheated on your taxes, you lied to the people who trusted you, and you were a
"What will it take to let
me in?" asked Clinton.
St. Peter thought about it for
a moment and said, "Well, since you took advantage of only beautiful women, I think
it is only fitting that you be reminded of your heinous disrespect for all women and he
produced the ugliest lady that Bill Clinton had ever seen. You'll have to spend eternity
with this lady."
Clinton winced at the prospect
but agreed, if it was to be the only way to get into Heaven. He wandered off with the ugly
woman on his arm and soon ran into James MacDougal, with an even uglier looking woman on
his arm. "Guess you had trouble getting into Heaven too," Clinton said.
"Yep, tax problems mainly," replied MacDougal.
They were still conversing
when along came Ross Perot. He had a fantastic looking blonde on one arm and a buxom
redhead on the other and two drop-dead gorgeous brunettes following behind him. "Did
you have a problem getting into Heaven, Ross?" asked Clinton, admiring the beauty of
"Nope, not at all,"
replied Ross Perot, "...but these ladies had real bad tax problems back on
When Clinton got back to the
Oval Office, he called the president of the Trojan Condom Company. "I need a favor
from you, Peter," said Clinton. "I need you to send about 5 million condoms to
Boris Yeltsin in the USSR. The condoms must be 10 inches long and 2 inches wide. On each
condom, I want you to write 'MADE IN USA' on one side, and 'SIZE - SMALL' on the