Recently, President Clinton and Boris Yeltsin had a
conference on the spread of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases in their
countries. Yeltsin asked Clinton how he and his administration are attempting to stop the
spread of AIDS. "We promote abstinence in the United States," Clinton told him.
"Well, that would never work in the USSR," Yeltsin replied. "People are
going to have sex, and the government can't do or say anything to stop that. I want to
promote the use of condoms in my country. The problem is, we don't have any good condom
companies in Russia."
"Well, in the US we have
many condom companies, and one of the best is Trojan," Clinton told him. "Let me
give the president of the company a call. I'll ask him to send some condoms to you, so you
can distribute them in your country. How many do you want?"
"We'd probably need about
5 million or so to start," Yeltsin replied. "Okay. That should be no
problem." Clinton thought for a second, then asked, "You will probably want a
variety of sizes, right?" "No," said Yeltsin. "All of the condoms
should be the regulation 10 inches long and 2 inches wide." "10 inches long!? 2
inches wide!?" thought Clinton, but he said only, "That should be no problem,
Boris." Mr. Yeltsin thanked the president, and they parted ways.
When Clinton got back to the
Oval Office, he called the president of the Trojan Condom Company. "I need a favor
from you, Peter," said Clinton. "I need you to send about 5 million condoms to
Boris Yeltsin in the USSR. The condoms must be 10 inches long and 2 inches wide. On each
condom, I want you to write 'MADE IN USA' on one side, and 'SIZE - SMALL' on the