A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in
a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones,
do you know me?"
She responded, "Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not
knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you
know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,
too. I used to baby sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment
to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.
Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge
rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet
voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be
jailed for contempt!"
