A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very
well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling
slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an
upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The
gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her
and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"********************************
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him
fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly
gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman
replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the
conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
********************************
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement
center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says...
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you' re
about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born
baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and
I think I just wet my pants.
********************************
An elderly couple had dinner at another
couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The
two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant
and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said,
"What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and
finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You
know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and
yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
********************************
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair
for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who
insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being
rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his
wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the
bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
