An elder American absent
mindedly arrived at French customs at Paris airport and fumbled for his passport.
"You have been to France before Monsieur?", the customs officer asked
sarcastically. The ancient Yank admitted that he had been to France before. "Then you
should know enough to have your passport ready for inspection", snapped the irate
official. The American said that the last time he came to France he did not have to show
his passport. "Impossible, old man. You Americans always have to show your passports
on arrival in France." The old American gave the Frenchman a long hard look. "I
assure you, young man, that when I came ashore on Omaha Beach in Normandy on D Day in
1944, there was no goddam Frenchman on the beach asking to see my passport!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Englishman,
a German and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when,
all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a
severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught
consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to
successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By stroke of luck, it was a
Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh
decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first
wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your
whipping.
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a
pillow to my back. This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip
went through. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and
crying with pain.
The Frenchman was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly:
"Please fix two pillows to my back". But even two pillows could only take 15
lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering
loudly (as they all do).
The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to
him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is
one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you,
your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Englishman replied."In recognition
of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very
brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is
what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh
asked. The Englishman smiled and said, "Tie the Frenchman to my back".
   Â
