1. A little girl was talking to her teacher
about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that
Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated
that a whale could not swallow a  human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I
will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went
to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you can ask
him".
2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see
each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied,
"I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said,
"But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing
a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."
3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment
to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy
(the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not
kill."
4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do
the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast
on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively
asked, "Why  are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs
are white?"
5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are
all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the
room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."
6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if
I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and
I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class
said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A
little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large
pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along
the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all
you want. God is watching the apples. |
