A fellow decides to take off early from work and go
drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2 AM, at which time he is extremely drunk. When
he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts
tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on
his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint
bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks
terribly. But, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he
noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was
cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the
circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning, his head
was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to
think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied
one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late,"
he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers?
That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did
you go?"
"What makes you so
sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my
first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of Band-Aid's stuck to the
mirror."
