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Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
|Recently, I was diagnosed
with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.|
This is how it manifests:
I decide to wash my car.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table,
and notice that the trash can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of
Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't
accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to
keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my
eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been
searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I
spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I
won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where
it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of
Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in
my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I
can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I
know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll
check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't
remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC
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