IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could
give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to
call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do
that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by
email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never
signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete
the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just
signed on the receipt. As luck
would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The
reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the
counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has
anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied,
"If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and
nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with
an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was
for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to
"downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun." We
should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other
with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of
her couldn't understand why her system I would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told
the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feverishly to unlock the driver' side door. As I watched from the passenger side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he
replied, "I know - I already got that side."
NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?