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Makes You Wonder...
1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't
help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think,
"Well, that's not going to happen."
4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing
UFOs like they used to?
7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is
their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men s they're a bunch of
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.
12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that
it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the
Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by
something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that
this has already happened.
14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to
start a campfire?
15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung
around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to
Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's
put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
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