1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!
2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG,
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting
me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food
on my nose... stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or
ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big
snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches
of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello?? Haven't you
noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick
myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.