A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here." *****
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
*****
A man walks into a bar with a
slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
*****
Two cannibals are eating a
clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
*****
"Doc, I can't stop
singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' " "That sounds like Tom Jones
Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
*****
Two cows are standing next to
each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this
morning."
"I don't believe
you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
*****
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a
bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
Â
The other says, "Are you sure?"
Â
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive...!"
*****
A man takes his Rottweiler to
the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
Â
"Well," says the vet. "Let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog
up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have
to put him down."
Â
"What! Because he's cross-eyed?"
Â
"No, because he's really heavy."
*****
I went to buy some camouflage
trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
*****
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak
were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank.
Â
Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
*****
What do you call a fish with
no eyes?
 A f sh.
*****
Two fish swim into a concrete
wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam".
*****
Two fish are in a tank. One
says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."
*****
Deja Moo:Â The feeling
that you've heard this bull before. |