Social
Security Sex: Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social
Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to
live on! Loud Sex: A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've
got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets
out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said,
"that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The
problem is," she complained, "It wakes me
up!"
Quiet Sex: Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have
an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never
home!"
Confounded Sex: A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was
mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could
give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since
it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small,
$6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would
want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife
before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and
explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man
looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the
doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
