It is important for men to remember that as
women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to
yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation....
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became necessary for my
wife to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for health insurance benefits that
we need.
She was a trained lab tech when we met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to land a
job at the local medical center as a phlebotomist. It was shortly after she started
working at this job that noticed that she was beginning to show her age. I usually
get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half
an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this
happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as
young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get supper
on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can
by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I
know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to
bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, my Wife used to be
able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older
she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't make
another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as
she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday's lodge meeting or
to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something
like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This
gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the
dog, vacuuming, or dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish
at a more leisurely pace. She is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not
often, mind you, but just enough for me to notice.
For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer
encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That
way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now
and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to
have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was
only half finished mowing the yard. I overlook comments like these because I realize
it's just age talking. In fact, I try not to embarrass her when she needs these
little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she
is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the
hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know that I probably
look like a saint in the way I support my Wife on a daily basis. I'm not saying that
the ability to show this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows
better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. My purpose in
writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort.
I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is
out of reach for the average man. However guys, even if you just yell at your wife a
little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
~~~~~<>~~~~~
Author is currently in the Federal Witness
Protection Program.
