1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's
only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap,
and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337 in which a man would not be able to identify most of them.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman
expecting that she won't change but she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the
phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the
night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is
vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the
same thing.
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