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What Women Think About Men


What should you do if you see a man rolling around on the floor in pain?

SHOOT HIM AGAIN


How can you tell when a man is well-hung?

WHEN YOU CAN JUST BARELY SLIP YOUR FINGER IN BETWEEN HIS NECK AND THE NOOSE.


What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man’s penis?">

HIS BODY


How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

THREE- ONE TO SCREW IN THE LIGHTBULB AND 2 TO LISTEN TO HIM BRAG ABOUT THE SCREWING PART.


What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

YOU DIDN’T HOLD THE PILLOW DOWN LONG ENOUGH.


Why do doctors slap baby’s butts right after they’re born?

TO  KNOCK THE PENISES OFF OF THE SMART ONES.


Why do men name their penises?

BECAUSE THEY DON’T LIKE A STRANGER MAKING    90% OF THEIR DECISIONS.


Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?

BECAUSE NOT ONE WILL STOP   TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.>


What do men and pantyhose have in common?

THEY CLING, THEY RUN, OR THEY DON’T FIT RIGHT IN THE CROTCH.


What is the difference between a snake lying in the street and a man lying in the street?

THERE ARE SKID MARKS IN FRONT OF THE SNAKE.



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