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Famous Sex Quotes
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly
in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." --Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a
sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never
forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front
of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too
judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having
allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm
doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to
run one at a time." --Robin Williams
" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can
" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things
like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later
" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
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