#1 - LOS
ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees' nest from a shed on
their property with the aid of a pineapple. A pineapple is an illegal firecracker with the
explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated to
watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The
concussion of the explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani.
Deciding Mr. Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital.
While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees.
Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of suffocation
en-route to the hospital.
#2 - Derrick L. Richards,
28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his
beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of
Russian roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol (instead of the more traditional revolver)
to Ken's head and fired.
#3 - PHILLIPSBURG, NJ. An
unidentified 29-year old male choked to death on a sequined pastie he had orally removed
from an exotic dancer at a local establishment. "I didn't think he was going to eat
it," the dancer identified only as "Ginger" said, adding "He was
#5 - MOSCOW, Russia-A drunk
security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his
bulletproof vest to see if it would protect him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the
25-year-old guard died of a heart wound. (It's good to see the Russians getting into the
spirit of the Darwin Awards.)
#6 - In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit
suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the
other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes.
He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The
bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of
hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him
vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a
hospital, where he died of hypothermia.
#7 - RENTON, WASHINGTON, USA. A Renton, Washington man tried to commit a robbery. This was
probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of
violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below:
1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms...a gun shop.
2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult
population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places.
3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front
4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting
to duty. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few
wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene
pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.